In November, I had the privilege of attending QueerTech’s first-ever conference in Toronto as a recruiter. I learned a lot from an incredible lineup of presenters sharing their stories in a safe, inclusive space.

QueerTech is a groundbreaking non-profit whose mission is to build community and break barriers for queer professionals in tech. (These barriers are detailed in an eye-opening industry report, here.)

QT is focused on creating safe spaces, and the idea that opened my eyes was that queer people – like many other minorities, visible or invisible – constantly scan spaces (and people) for safety.

Listen. I’ve been out since 2014, and I didn’t realize I unconsciously do this too. If you’re someone whose environment wasn’t always inclusive – that is, if you’ve been excluded in spaces based on belonging to a minority group – you likely scan instinctively, and it takes a lot out of you.

If people don’t feel safe, they use their precious energy for self-protection. This creates a toxic environment of silent suffering (and high turnover) unless we actively build a safe, inclusive one. Safety means belonging, being welcomed and invited – not just accepted or tolerated – to share our perspectives, use our voices to inspire action, and own our full identities.

In short, a safe space is one where anyone and everyone can thrive – not just survive. It needs to be safe for everyone, because – as we’ve seen – those who don’t feel safe might not even know it. We can’t wait for people to self-advocate problems they don’t know they have.

In Talent Acquisition, we talk a lot about attracting diverse talent – but then what? If we’re treating “diversity” like a checkbox, we’re missing it. If the goal is “representation” so our company photos aren’t whitewashed, or we can report high-diversity metrics – we’re crafting an image, not creating a safe space.

So, what is “safe”? I think it’s less about what makes a safe space, and more about who makes it. Value-based leaders create inclusive spaces naturally because they do the personal work to understand what it’s like to navigate a world that wasn’t built for them. Leaving the task up to those most exhausted from having to defend their identities is not the way forward, and neither is outsourcing “D&I” to a single department.

Everyone needs to know that their voice is valued, and will be heard. Creating safety as a leader means building trust by asking questions, and turning the answers into action. Policies and practices must be flexible to be inclusive, and leaders must push to continuously adapt in response to the feedback they’re empathically listening to.

Human beings are complex, but so is sending them to the moon. We can certainly use our time on Earth to create spaces where we all feel safe, supported, and included in our full, beautiful expression of humanity.